| 20/12/06, 1: When did Christmas mean the most to you? |
[Dec. 22nd, 2006|02:30 am] |
That last Christmas before I died was the most magical. It sounds all kinds of corny but it just was…it was perfect.
John and I set up the Christmas tree in the corner of the living room, and there were just so many presents under there. Mostly, they were for Dean - but there was something there for John and me too. And something for the baby.
I'd only found out I was pregnant a couple of weeks before and we were on that high that parents usually are when they know a little one is on the way.
There were three stockings hanging on the fireplace mantel and I was knitting a fourth.
I remember Christmas Eve, when Dean put the freshly baked cookies out on the table by the fireplace along with a glass of milk. We ate the rest whilst curled up on the couch, Dean's head in John's lap, his feet in mine, my head resting on John's shoulder. We'd turned down all the lights except for the ones from the tree - and it was just us. All of us. Together as a family.
Christmas morning was spent with a mug of coffee in my hand, John beside me, as we watched Dean rip into the presents, eyes bright with that innocent joy of childhood.
It was the only Christmas we were all together on - me, John, Dean…and Sammy. We were together - and that was a time that meant more than anything else.
~
Muse: Mary Winchester
Fandom: Supernatural
Word Count: 246 |
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| 06/12/06 #2: There are no extraordinary men... |
[Dec. 13th, 2006|08:58 pm] |
"There are no extraordinary men... just extraordinary circumstances that ordinary men are forced to deal with." - William Halsey
There are no extraordinary men? No. I don’t believe that at all. Because any man who goes through one of these “extraordinary circumstances” and still comes out on top is an extraordinary man, regardless of how “ordinary” he might have been before.
Because you can try and fail.
Because an ordinary man could give up.
It takes something special to pull through, to grit your teeth and keep going.
John was an extraordinary man in extraordinary circumstances. I always knew it. Long before I died and this demon hunting – this protecting – started, I always knew it. And my death…I know it destroyed some part of him. I know that well enough – trust me, I’ve been watching – but it never destroyed him. He loved the boys and he protected them – and everyone else – with a fierce determination that was far from ordinary.
Dean, Sam…both the same, in this respect, as their father. They make the best of what they have, and they’re still going. Still going long after ordinary men would have given up.
My boys – men now – both of them are extraordinary beyond belief. Not because of what they do or what they can do, but because, despite all that, they’re still beautiful. Despite everything they’ve seen and done, they still have regrets and fears and are still all too human. They love and they protect…that’s not ordinary.
Not in the least.
~
Muse: Mary Winchester
Fandom: Supernatural
Word Count: 232 |
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| #154: Dance. |
[Dec. 1st, 2006|07:43 pm] |
[OOC: Inspired by and follows this entry from ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) hunterfather :)]
They met at the town fair, the two of them. He'd been new in town, working at Mike's - they said Mike's brother served with him in Vietnam, that he'd been mentioned a lot in the letters. Mike never got his brother back and this John Winchester had brought back some of his things, his dog tags - and he'd had nowhere to go.
There'd been whispers of him since he'd moved in. Place like that…didn't get many strangers. And definitely didn't get many good looking ones, that was for sure. Everyone was shy, perhaps a little scared - still a lot soldier and a little less country boy than they were all used to - but the girls, they all came up with their little fantasies.
She'd never seen him herself.
Not until the fair.
The army must have not prepared a man for something like a town fair.
She hadn't been much into the dancing that year anyway.
He asked her to the fair the following year. He was much softer now - eyes and smile and everything - less the soldier and more the man, and he and Mary had been dancing around one another all year.
He'd learnt to dance. Not too well - still made more for the field than he dance floor but there was a certain undeniable grace about it. A couple of people laughed and clapped as he twirled her, giggling a little - almost like one of those girls who swooned and dreamed when John had first rolled into town.
He still told people he didn't dance - didn't know how - but he was always dancing with her. That year, the one after that…and all the ones after those too.
~
Muse: Mary Winchester
Fandom: Supernatural
Word Count: 280 |
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| #151: The moral of the story is... |
[Nov. 8th, 2006|05:43 pm] |
Never take anything for granted.
Appreciate all those things, however mundane they might seem, everyday.
The sight of Dean kissing Sammy before bed each night before his father scooped him up in his arms and carried him off as he giggled and squealed to tuck him into bed; John reading Dean a bedtime story before ending up falling asleep where he was, head resting on his son's bed; the feel of your precious little boy crawling up between you in the middle of the night - they really made up my world.
Those years with John and then Dean - and then those final six months with little Sammy…they made my life beautiful and my death bearable. They made sure I never became the very things my husband and my sons hunted.
First words, first steps - and all the ones after - and I was never a part of any of it except in memory. I know how John felt when Sammy's first word turned out to be his brother's name, how John had wished it was "ma" he was calling; how he felt when he first heard "da" leave our baby boy's lips. I know how John felt as Sam went through those teenage years - and, god, as hard as those years are on parents, no one should take them for granted.
Because there are a lot of people like me. There are a lot of us who never have the chance to help our children through it.
There are those of us out there whose children know nothing of them but their memory.
The moral of the story is every moment, every action is precious because life is precious. Once you're dead, all you'll be able to do is remember that searing warmth.
~
Muse: Mary Winchester
Fandom: Supernatural
Word Count: 292 |
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| #146: Hidden. |
[Oct. 1st, 2006|01:39 am] |
She's spent her whole life being hidden from her boys - from her men. From all three of them.
She's only really here, there - in all these places - because they remember her, because they love her still - and they keep her alive.
She's a spirit, yes - but she's not crazy, she hasn't turned violent or harmful, and she still remembers everything - and all that is because she's not just a spirit; she's a memory.
Her boys, she supposes, never knew her any way but the way John's painted her - and John only remembers the best side of her. That's what time does, time warps people's perceptions so that they forget the little things that annoy them - so that a person who's gone before is left like some sort of shadowed angel.
She's a little hidden from them that way too - too perfect, too flawless - and Mary had had her flaws.
Still, she's spent the years after her death watching over them as much as she could, loving them from another world. Right next to them all but they'd never know it.
There's no way they could know.
And she supposes that it's better that way; her boys can't miss something they don't really know.
And John…John can't want something he can't have. John doesn't need to be tortured by the fact that she's there - she's still his - but he can't have her.
~
Muse: Mary Winchester
Fandom: Supernatural (Misc. TV)
Word Count: 231 |
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| #142: What are your thoughts about monogamy? |
[Sep. 4th, 2006|10:59 pm] |
The marriage vows say "until death do us part" - but the truth is those vows may only be until death does you and your partner part but the love for one another never disappears. Ever.
Through death.
In death.
I still love John as much, if not more, than the day I married him. I watch him with the boys and there's as much love, as much pride, as the days Dean and Sam were born.
There's never been anyone else.
There never will be.
In my life and now, in this half-life, my love for him doesn't change.
I'm waiting for him - until he's good and ready, and until our boys are ready - and I know he's waiting for me too.
You only understand the meaning of monogamy when and if you meet the right person - and then the word's meaningless because you never want anyone else. The whole world could be allowed as many partners as they wanted and you'd still want him.
Just him.
In life and in death.
~
Muse: Mary Winchester
Fandom: Supernatural (Misc. TV)
Word Count: 172 |
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| 140: You're walking past an alleyway and a rock whistles past your head. You immediately… |
[Aug. 23rd, 2006|12:08 am] |
"Look out! Select the word(s) of your choice and complete the scene. You're walking/strolling/wandering/running/ducking past a window/door/tent flap/cave opening/car/alleyway and a bullet/rock/arrow/book/knife whistles past your head. You immediately…"
~
You're walking past an alleyway and a rock whistles past your head. You immediately place a hand on Dean’s back and push him to walk a little faster as you tighten your hold on Sammy. Those neighbourhood kids are obviously fighting again and if rocks are already flying at people passing by then this fight is going to be one of the nasty ones. You spare a glance backwards at the opening as the shouting starts, hand securely wrapped around your oldest son’s wrist now as you cross the road, and wonder what happened to those boys.
They must have all been like your Dean and Sammy once. They had to have been someone’s little boy – someone’s precious baby – once; they probably still were.
Sammy gurgles slightly in your arm and Dean’s tugging at you, trying to get you to bend down for the thousandth time so he can see his baby brother. So he can wave his hands in front of Sam, make faces and try to coax that little giggle that lights up both your son’s faces in a way that warms your heart and brings a smile to your lips too.
You spare one more thought for those other boys – the older ones, the ones that don’t laugh and smile and giggle anymore – that have to be tough and strong – and you wonder again how things turned out the way they did.
Your boys will never be one of them, you think. They’ll always know how to smile, always know love and warmth – from each other, if no one else – and they’ll never have to prove anything to anyone.
Dean laughs and tugs at your arm again, dragging you along towards home, eager to see his father after a long day – and you think no, they’ll never know that kind of darkness.
You hope – you pray – they’ll never have to fight to live.
~
Application for ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) theatrical_muse
Muse: Mary Winchester
Fandom: Supernatural (Misc. TV)
Word Count: 316 |
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